Grateful

It's so weird. 

This is not a good time in life to have extra going on.  I work too many hours a day 6 days a week, just keep my bills paid. I have tried all year to save enough to confidently take the ten days we've planned to roadtrip the kids to university this Fall... and now I haven't "worked" for 2 weeks, and may not get back to work until I return from that trip with my kids. But I am not stressed about it. Not an ounce of worry or concern about how it will all work. I'm worried about honoring the Parents, and making sure she recovers fully in God's time at the pace He intends. 

Taking her to the hospital two weeks ago, answered the question about the near crippling pain she's been having for close to 2 months, but the medications they gave her have created a whole new mess with her BP.  (The hospital will kill you!!) So thankful we got her home when we did! 

I am grateful.  I am honored.  It is truly a blessing to have to opportunity to return unconditional love to those who have loved me unconditionally.  To be able to serve and care for those who have stood by me for over 30 years. Who don't only let me call them Mom and Dad, but proudly claim me as their own. 

We laugh about the silliest things (tonight as I was preparing to administer Dad's eyedrops, I looked at Mom,  held the bottle high and said ,"I drop!" as I dropped and caught the eyedrops. When she realized the joke, she laughed freely (I live for those moments). We laugh about the gross things (do you wanna know what a Poop Party is?? 😂🤣😂). We laugh when she thinks it and I say it and vise versa. We cry when we share our hearts. And we rejoice over the smallest victories (only 2 repetitions on that exercise yesterday,  but 3 today!!! or Able to stand for part of her shower with no pain, and last time she had to sit for the whole thing!)

I am blessed to have time to sit and visit, or read, and not be in a hurry to run to the next thing. I am blessed to help with the awkward moments. I am blessed to help with the mundane, every day things that would be otherwise neglected. Honored that they will let me do the things they really don't want anyone else helping with. 

Do I believe God will take care of my financial needs? Without doubt. Will He care for my kids? Of course.  Will He bring to pass the promises He has made. Certainly.  How??? I have no idea, but as Abraham knew God would provide a sacrifice or resurrect his son, I too believe God is a God of His word and will keep His promises to my children.

It's weird because I know I should be wondering how is she going to go from wheelchair to no walking device by the middle of August? Now that the meds the hospital messed her up, how is her BP going to be stable enough for me to be ok with leaving for 10 days? But I find myself not worried, resting in the Lord, looking for His hand. Could things still go horribly wrong? Of course.  Do we know she's going to make a full recovery? The doctor said it's likely, but how full, how fast, that's up to her. Praise the Lord, she is motivated to see what she can do, is willing to try the things she wants to do, and is smart enough to not try to progress too quickly. 

The peace that passes understanding is mine. 

Though this moment in time is one most people dread--whether as caregiver or recipient--I simply find myself thankful and blessed to be here doing this, right now. To help them run their race with as much grace and dignity as possible, is the greatest privilege I have.