Baby steps

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Sometimes we don't realize how far we have to go until something hits close to home.

Tonight I took an opportunity to sit down and enjoy the living room. It is finally finished enough to feel like a home. And I really have not had a chance to just sit and relax.

Long before we left Oregon, I stopped sitting in the living room to relax. I'd sit there if we were having a movie night, or company was visiting, but to just sit, that hadn't happened for a long, long time.
Living in the duplex, I was only able to to sit down at the dining room table and rest was usually retreating to my bed, with my back turned out, so the kids would assume I was asleep.

Even though the kids are gone, I still have been retreating to my bed and bedroom for respite. But tonight, I let, no made myself to sit, crochet, and enjoy the living room. You know, like it was my home and I could enjoy it.

It was awkward at first and thinking about doing that again seems strange and uncomfortable to me.

But I know, if I continue to give myself permission to be me and enjoy the blessings I have, it will become easier.

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