English paper #5

Dottie George

Prof. Ryterband

English 3A

26 November 2019

Mentoring

I believe mentoring is very important. Children don’t learn to be adults simply by being given a bunch of rules to follow. They learn by choosing to follow the leading of adults they love and respect.

Mentoring can be formal or informal. There are programs like Big Brother Big Sister of America that pair kids with mentors. These programs are great and can make a difference in the lives of children, but sometimes the child can feel more like a project, like the adult mentor is trying to fix them.

I believe informal mentorship is far better, perhaps because I greatly benefitted from it myself. As a high-risk teen from an abusive and neglectful home, I was fortunate to encounter several people who took me under their wings and showed me my life could be different.

The four that made the biggest impact are those I call Grandma Lady, Grandpa Man, The Mom-Type-Person (or Mom), and Dad. Of these four Grandma Lady reached out first, and because she was married, I claimed Grandpa Man, too. I learned to wash dishes and iron clothes by watching her. They gave me the ability to leave home when I desperately needed out. While living with them, I learned to cook, clean, and do laundry. Grandpa Man taught me the importance of having and sticking to a budget – I still follow the basic guidelines he taught me over 20 years ago.

Mom and Dad are two of my most precious gifts. They have been on this journey with me for close to 30 years. They have molded my process of thinking and shown me so much about myself and life, I can’t write it all. She and Grandma Lady taught me all I know about being a wife and mother. Mom keeps me going when I want to quit. And it was she whom anchored me in the darkest days of my marriage and kept me from losing my sanity. I have many memories of Dad drawing me in to debate forcing me to defend ideas. He made me think about what I believe, or thought I believed, leading me to understand the importance of knowing what I believe, and why I believe it. 

Mentors are so important. When a person is in a hard place and someone cares enough to help them find the best path, that is the truest, purest love there is. During the weeks before Grandpa Man died, our pastor was preaching on the Fruit of the Spirit. One fruit, or evidence, of being a Christian is goodness. Pastor Burman explained that the goodness referenced in that particular section of scripture is not simply doing good deeds. Instead, it is helping those who you know will never be able to return the favor. Mom, Dad, Grandma Lady, and Grandpa Man have lived that kind of goodness in my life.

I am living proof that a person doesn’t have to continue on the path their families lay before them. We are not destined to be our parents. We can choose to be different. I know with great certainty my life would not be what it is today if it weren’t for these people investing many hours, many years of their lives in mine. Their love and concern for a poor girl from a bad home made all the difference in my life. 

Mentors help us to see that there are options and can help us find the path to other destinations. I am so thankful for those who poured themselves into my life, and I hope to one day be able to pay it forward.