English paper #1

Dottie George

Prof. Ryterband

English 3A

03 September 2019

When Ruby Said Goodbye

I was 13 years old. Ruby was one of the few constants in my life; a beautiful grandma figure to me, her hair white as snow, always flawlessly done and one of the brightest smiles I ever saw.

My childhood was full of neglect and broken promises. Disappointment came from every adult I knew, except one. Ruby. She was the only person I knew who always meant what she said and never broke a promise made to me. I knew if Ruby said it, it was true.

In January or February, Ruby was diagnosed with leukemia. I really didn’t understand what that meant, but I knew she was sick. I had heard adults talking, and some were saying they didn’t think Ruby would survive the cancer. We went to visit her one evening. She was resting on the couch. I remember her smile was as beautiful as ever.  I told her I didn’t want her to die. She promised me she would be okay, that she was going to get better and we would go to lunch at McDonald’s in the summer, just the two of us!

That was all I needed to be sure Ruby would get well. I no longer paid attention to the adults around me worrying about Ruby and her husband Walt. I knew they’d both be fine, because Ruby promised me she’d be well enough to drive across town to my house and all the way to McDonald’s and back, in just a few months.

But it didn’t work out that way. Shortly after our visit to her house, I had a strange experience.  I think it was a Friday night. I was asleep in my bed. I woke to a voice calling me, “Lola May! Wake up. Lola May!” It was a whisper-yell, like when one wants to get another’s attention without anyone else hearing. I didn’t recognize the voice at first, but I knew it wasn’t my mother or stepfather. The voice sounded urgent, hurried.  I turned over and saw Ruby standing in my room! She looked perfectly healthy! Her hair was done and she was wearing that green dress she wore every other Sunday to church.  I also saw a clock, the red digital kind that were popular in the 1980’s, and it showed the time 10:30pm. 

When I saw her, I exclaimed, “Ruby! What are you doing here?”

“I came to say goodbye.”

“But you can’t leave! You promised to take me to McDonald’s.”

“I know. We won’t be able to do that. I am sorry.”

I was heartbroken and confused. “But you promised!” I reminded her.

“But it is time for me to go. I can’t stay here any longer.”

“Why do you have to go?”

“My work here is done.”

“No. I still need you! I want you to stay and get better!”

“If I stay it won’t be what’s best for you”, Ruby said, “I’ve added all to your life that I am supposed to.”

I cried.

She told me she loved me and gave me a hug. I cried myself to sleep as she held me. When I woke up the next morning, I was hugging my pillow as tightly as I was holding Ruby when I fell asleep. I tried to figure out what had happened the night before. Was it a dream or not? It seemed so real.  But I knew Ruby couldn’t have been in my room the night before; she was at her house too sick to get off the couch. Then the telephone rang, and I sat up. I tried to listen to what was being said. Even though I could not hear what was being said, I already knew. A few minutes later my stepfather came into my room and sat on my bed beside me and said, “Ruby passed away last night at 10:30.”

“I know,” was all I could say. No tears, just fact that I already knew. When he said the time, I remembered the clock. I didn’t have a clock like that in my room. My mother did. I also remembered that all the time Ruby was there, the time on that clock didn’t change.

I still don’t know if that was simply a timely dream, or if it was a special gift to me and Ruby from the One who loves us most. Because I got to say goodbye in that moment, I never struggled with the loss of Ruby or her broken promise. Her words explaining that she only left when she did because her positive influence in my life was complete has made the loss of all the other dear ones who have passed from my life a little easier. I know those that have been placed in my life for a reason will remain until their purpose is complete.